There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
