chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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