toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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