I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
