everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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