naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
