I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
