Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
