He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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