sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
