I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
