I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Boobs are out for the taking
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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