i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
