i think i have two assholes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I need water and some morals
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
