You're completely useless in the revolution.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
