They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you never un-have a 4some
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
