Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
