remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
