We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
