Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
