you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
