they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You're like the curious george of whores
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
being pregnant is like rehab
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is Oprah even human
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
