We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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