Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
