So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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