You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
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