I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
