So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
