i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
