Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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