peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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