dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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