hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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