i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
