He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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