What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
