ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
