I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
