Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
