Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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