bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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