He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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