So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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