I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
