hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
