saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
