I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
