Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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