i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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