We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
