All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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